Thursday, December 15, 2011

An Excerpt: The Thinking Man, Paralysis by Analysis

Now, for a satirical excerpt from "The Thinking Man, Paralysis by Analysis" by Nadina Boun.

No party or ceremony is ever complete without a drink or two. Hence, follow the rules of the drink as established by the king of the castle, The Thinking Man. Here is an excerpt for your your enjoyment:

"Rules of the drink host:

Should His Highness ever invite thee over for a drink, acceptance is mandatory.

Always bring His Highness a nice bottle of scotch regardless of what thou drinkst.

Plenty of refreshments will be provided by thee, please make sure His Highness’ glass is always full.

An invitation is by no means a contract to a shag. A Shag requested by His Highness on the other hand is mandatory.

Please treat the castle in regards to cleanliness only, as though it were yours.

Upon the last tune, make sure thou do not findst thyself lounging on couches.

Whence His Highness is no longer in sight, please find thy way to the exit door, promptly.

Do not attempt to make a toast unless thou art boasting about His Highness.

If by chance thy hands are full and a toast is proposed by His Highness, thy glass must be raised using one or another of thy limbs.

Vacate the lavatory immediately regardless of thy position, should His Highness attempt to open the door.

No fornication is to be allowed on the premises unless it includes His Highness.

Lastly, thou shall never lay thy hands on His Highness’ last bottle of scotch, else thy punishment is death in exile.

Thank you for accepting the terms and conditions of the drink invitation.”

May your glass be full, always, and thank you James and Miss Havana!



  1. Cheers James and Miss Havana:) for posting this!

  2. My pleasure entirely. I hope "The Day The Sun Stopped Shining" blog tour is a huge success! I'll post your input again during the tour, assuming it will be supplanted between now and then.

  3. These rules are laugh-out-loud great! I especially like: "Always bring His Highness a nice bottle of scotch regardless of what thou drinkst."